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My earthly father has gone on to be with the Lord and I reflect on my dad and who he was as a father in my life. I can remember him being a great and strong man who supported his children with great love. He was a quiet man of little word, but when he spoke it was with authority and power. If we did not do what he said, he had a way of getting our attention… his voice would come to a whisper, and we had to get closer to him to hear him speak… and then, like out of nowhere, he would grab us and discipline us.

Now let’s look at my Heavenly Father:

PASSION Our Heavenly Father has great passion and love towards His children. He is not an unkind and cruel Father, but a loving and compassionate Father to us. He longs to have a loving relationship with us. The greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart. This is the greatest expectation of our Heavenly Father from us. His great love moves Him to show mercy to us and forgive our sins. The prodigal son discovered the great love of the father when he repented and returned to his father after going astray.

PROVISION Our Heavenly Father provides for our needs. We need not worry about the needs of our life because our Heavenly Father knows our every need. Since he was willing to sacrifice His only Son for us, surely He would also give everything else that we need. He longs to give good gifts to His children. He would surely give the Holy Spirit to those who ask. He would grant our requests when we ask in the name of Jesus.

PROTECTION Our Heavenly Father protects us from harm and danger. We are safely held in His hands and no one can pluck us out of His Hand. Even the hairs on our head are numbered. The Lord who purchased us at such a heavy price would preserve us as His precious treasure. We are kept under the protection of His precious blood.

PURIFICATION Our Heavenly Father purifies our life by correcting and disciplining us. He wants us to be a partaker of His holiness. He wants His children to reflect His nature and character. He wants His children to display the divine love and mercy even towards their enemies. He wants His children to forgive others even as He forgives them.

PERMANENCE Our Heavenly Father is a permanent Father to us. His name is called the Everlasting Father. Earthly fathers may pass away from this world but our Heavenly Father is always with us. He has a deep concern for the fatherless and widows. He is the Father to the fatherless. He warns those who afflict the fatherless that they would face severe consequences. He considers caring for the fatherless and widows as a pure and undefiled service to Him.

PARTNERSHIP Our Heavenly Father wants to work in partnership with His children .He wants His children to get involved in the service of His Kingdom. He wants us to be co-laborers with Him. There is an enormous need facing us in this world. The Lord wants His children to be His instruments to reach out to this needy world with the divine love and compassion.

PROMOTION Our Heavenly Father wants to promote us and help us to prosper. He is willing to teach us and train us just as He helped the Lord Jesus during His life on earth. We are co-heirs with Christ and we can enjoy every inheritance that God has prepared for Christ. We can look to our Heavenly Father to help us and prosper us. He will show His favor towards His children.

To all of the fathers in the world – Happy Father’s Day and may God richly bless each of you. And, if your father is gone on to be with the Lord, remember him on this great day.

Q. How long have you been a part of the Home Hospice/Nursing family?
A. I have been a Home Hospice Chaplain for 5 years.

Q. What role do have in enriching the lives of our patients/families?
A. I am a spiritual advisor and I enjoy praying for the families and patients I come in contact with.

Q. If you are having a bad day, what do you do to make it better?
A. If my day is bad I normally spend time in prayer as a tool of release.

Q. What is a food you’d NEVER eat again?
A. I will never eat squash again.

Q. Describe your perfect vacation.
A.My dream vacation is in Barbados – seeing the whole Island.

Q. What is the first thing you think of when you get up in the morning?
A. When I wake up in the morning I give thanks to my Heavenly Father for waking me up that morning.

Q. What song best describes your life?
A. The song that describes my life is Amazing Grace

Q. If your pet could talk, what 3 questions would you want the answers to?
A. If my pet could talk I would want to know:

a. Do I have to go to bed
b. Why do I have to go outside
c. Why did you do that

Q. Would you rather have a PAUSE button or REWIND?
A. I would rather have a pause button because sometimes I need a break for all of what is going on in my life.

Q. What is your secret to a good life?
A. My secret to a good life is:

a. Put Jesus first
b. Love family and people
c. Keep a good attitude

There are a number of decisions a hospice patient and their family members may be called upon to make. While family members may offer advice and opinions with regard to medical decisions, ultimately it is the patient’s right to decide. Some of these decisions may involve estate planning documents including a will, a Durable Power of Attorney and a Declaration of Guardianship.  Also included will be the designation of a Power of Attorney for Health Care and a Directive to Physicians.

Of these the Directive to Physicians, also known as an Advance Directive or Living Will, is often the most difficult decision for the patient to make. This document allows the individual to state that, in the event they have an irreversible illness and further treatment would only serve to prolong life, but would not make the quality of life better, you would want the life-sustaining machines to be removed. Under a Directive to Physicians, the person is not giving authority to another person to make the decision to unhook life support systems, instead, you are making that decision through signing the Directive to Physicians.

Most persons, even those with a terminal condition, will often have such a strong will to live that this document is the most difficult to agree to. Perhaps a person will cite “what if” scenarios to reject or delay signing the document. Even though the individual may acknowledge the preference not to be “hooked up to machines” they still delay executing the document. Sometimes they delay to the point they are no longer able to make the decision and sign the document and the family is left with the decision to make.

When we think about doing what is best for ourselves and loving for our families, this is a decision to seriously consider. It is not an issue of “giving up” but living life well. These are individual decisions each of us should be willing to make for ourselves and our loved ones.

Steve Horton, LBSW

1) How long and how did you become a part of the Home Hospice/Nursing family?
Life works in round-about ways. When I first became licensed as a social worker I was employed by the state of Texas. When I left that position to return to teaching, I never believed I would work in any capacity as a social worker again, much less with a hospice organization. When first my dad and then my mother was on hospice service with Home Hospice, I gained an appreciation for the work done by those dedicated individuals; so much so that I commented that I would like to work for this organization. Now, after having been a member of the Home Hospice family for almost six years I have not altered my feeling.

2) What role do you have in enriching the lives of our patients/families? There is joy in visiting with patients and their family members and helping them in areas they are unfamiliar with.

3) If you are having a bad day, what do you do to make it better? Some days seem to arrive with issues that make them hard for me. On those occasions I consider the difficulties others have and the blessings I have and so, I am able to move ahead seeing the good ahead of the bad.

4) Describe your perfect vacation.
Vacations are rare and so the more enjoyable when they do come around. Having taken a train trip one Christmas I believe another, longer train trip would be very pleasurable; perhaps, the trans-Canadian going either east to west or the other way around.

5) What is a food you’d NEVER eat again?
Food when traveling is generally very good, but never again will I eat liver and onions!

6) What is the first thing you think of when you get up in the morning?
I love the work that I do and the time off that I may have, but every day upon awakening I reassure myself of what day it is and bless God that He has given me another day. The world is changing and we with it.

7) What song best describes your life?
Marty Robbins recorded the song “Man Walks Among Us” from the perspective of nature and serves me as a reminder of the temporary status we have here.

8) If your pet could talk, what 3 questions would you want the answers to?
Animals of all kinds abound, but not a one owns me. People often ask, “Do you have a dog? I don’t (or a pet of any kind; although at one time there were two cats in our house). Cats are different and I would wonder about them. “Why do you look at me like that” (are you just curious or are you hungry?). “What were you looking for when you crawled to the foot of the bed under all those covers?” (Maybe I shouldn’t care because you kept my feet warm). “Do you have a food fetish; ignoring expensive canned cat food for scraps?” Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so curious (like the cat?)

9) Would you rather have a PAUSE button or REWIND?Living life well is always important for each of us. I’ve been asked, would I do anything different or seek to change how things occurred in my life? Would I rewind my life and try to do things differently (or even better)? No, I really feel life’s been good; just not long enough. Maybe a pause button to let me enjoy those important things in life would add to my happiness.

10) What is your secret to a good life?
Living this life well now to live well in the next life is what is important to me.

As you may have heard in the news, the Coronavirus (COVID-19) has been identified in the USA and around the world. There have been cases of COVID-19 in our county, and this development triggers heightened infection control practices and protocols as recommended by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Please know that maintaining the health, wellness and safety of your loved one is our number one priority.

We ask your help and per CDC measures to be proactive in the following:

1. Ask your family members or friends to avoid visiting you for the time being. We know this is difficult, but the virus has been shown to have dire consequences for older adults and those with underlying health conditions.
2. Discuss with family and friends about other ways you can communicate with your loved ones, whether by phone, video or social media.
3. If there are individuals, such as an immediate family member, who need to come see you, remember, you’re in charge.
4. Follow everyday preventive actions such as:
• Washing your hands or using alcohol-based hand sanitizers
• Covering your cough and sneezes
• Ask other individuals (including staff) to avoid touching you with handshakes, hugs or kisses. Ask them to wash their hands. Do not be shy! It’s okay to remind people.
5. If you begin to experience coughing, sneezing or a fever, tell a staff member immediately.

Please know that the news about the spread of this new disease is concerning for us all. In addition to limiting visitation to prevent the illness, we are also focused on infection control best practices with our staff. Staff have been trained on the symptoms of the Coronavirus (COVID-19), CDC recommended infection prevention techniques, and have clear protocols for staff to stay home and not come to work if they are ill or symptomatic.

We continue to monitor information and guidance from the Texas Health and Human Services and the CDC and are working with state and local public health and emergency preparedness officials to prevent the illness and strengthen our preparation for a possible outbreak. We apologize in advance for an inconvenience this may cause, but believe it is in the best interest of our patients. We will continue to keep you informed. Please also visit

www.homehospicewtx.com and our facebook account for regular updates and do not hesitate to contact our office with any questions or concerns you may have.

Sincerely,
Home Hospice of Odessa/Midland, LLC and Home Nursing

1) How long have you been a part of the Home Hospice/Nursing family?
In May, I will celebrate 20 years as an employee of Home Hospice. On May 17, 2000, I was a “baby” social worker, just a week out from graduation!

2) What role do you have in enriching the lives of our patients/families?
Currently, I facilitate grief support groups and workshops out of all of our offices. I also provide individual grief counseling as needed in any of our locations. When needed, I provide prn social work for our current patients and their families. After so many years working for Home Hospice, and working full-time, to part-time, and everything in-between, I am incredibly thankful to continue to be part of such a wonderful company.
What I wish more people knew about my role is that Home Hospice provides grief counseling to anyone in the Permian Basin, not just our patient’s family members.

3) If you are having a bad day, what do you do to make it better?
Take a nap!! Naps are refreshing and give me a whole new outlook on the day.

4) What is a food you’d NEVER eat again?
I love pizza. I would eat pizza almost everyday (with some Rosa’s thrown in there, too!).
But pineapple on my pizza??? NOPE. Tried that once and will not eat that again.

5) Describe your perfect vacation.
Oh, this one’s easy. We actually took the perfect vacation several years ago. We took our “only” 4 kids at the time and spent a week at DisneyWorld. We had literally saved our pennies for many years to take this trip. It sounds corny, but it was truly magical.
We have fabulous memories from that trip. With 6 kids now, we are once again saving our pennies to someday take them all!

6) What is the first thing you think of when you get up in the morning?
I thank God for granting me another day on this Earth. After working in hospice care for so long, I am truly thankful for the time I have here with my family and friends.

7) What song best describes your life?
Pour Me a Vacation by the Great Divide.

8) If your pet could talk, what 3 questions would you want the answers to?
With my rescue dogs and cats, I would ask them what their life was like before we adopted them. Their answers would undoubtedly be sad, but I think it would be very interesting to hear their back-stories. With my chihuahua Bambi, I would ask her why she barks at us ALL.THE.TIME. One of the kids will leave the room, and upon re-entering the room, Bambi will bark at them like she has never seen them before in her life. It is hilarious, and sometimes incredibly annoying. But, we love that sweet girl.

9) Would you rather have a PAUSE button or REWIND?
At this point, I would definitely choose a PAUSE button. Our oldest child is a junior in high school, so his days at home are definitely numbered. I cannot imagine our home without him here every day. But, we are excited to see what the future holds for him and all of our children.

10) What is your secret to a good life?
Faith. I cannot imagine my life without the faith my parents taught me, the faith I accepted into my heart, and the faith I now teach my children.

MOVING THROUGH GRIEF
“Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don’t they know it”s the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye.”

The words of this old country song spoke of the feelings one person had after a lost romance. They could just as easily have been written by a wife, husband, mother, father, or anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

After facilitating grief support groups over the years, I have come to the realization that the only sure way through grief is to do the hard work of grief. This “grief work” involves feeling the feelings of grief when they occur and learning to express these feelings in healthy ways.

Those who are willing to do the hard work of grief are the ones who move through to a “new normal” life. This new normal is not like the old life, but more like the place where a new beginning is possible. However, some people are less willing to do the work of grief. These people try to manage the feelings, rather than feel and express them. They do this by avoiding, denying, medicating, working, traveling, spending, moving. The list of possibilities for avoiding feelings is endless.

Those who try to avoid the feelings are often the ones who get stuck in grief. Grief that is not expressed builds up inside a person, like steam inside a kettle. Unless felt and expressed, they will boil over in many different, unpleasant and even hurtful ways.

So the only way through a season of grief is to do the hard work of grief. Here are some suggestions to help in your grief process.

1. Identify what you are feeling.

It sounds simple, but it can be difficult. It helps to know that we are created with the capacity to feel four (4) basic feelings. These are mad, sad, glad and scared. Any thing else is really just a degree of one of the four.. Furious is really just mad. Heartbroken is sad. Livid? Infuriated? = Mad.

Before you can begin to feel and express the feeling, you need to recognize it. Keep it in these four categories. Remember, we are always feeling something. Also, remember, feelings  are always changing,

2. Express your feelings in a way that works for you.

If you best express your feelings verbally, find a grief friend who will meet with you regularly. This person should be a person who you can trust. They should be a good listener and nonjudgmental. Find a support group. Your local hospice agency is a good resource for groups.

Some express their feelings through writing. If so, try journaling. Set up a fixed time for journaling and try to stay focused on what you’re feeling and then describe the feelings, Sometimes old pictures or special memories can help. At the end of the fixed time, put away the journal until the next time and go on to the next thing you need to do for the day.

Some find it helpful to write out their feelings in prayer journaling. The scripture is filled with examples of people crying out to God in prayer. The Psalms have many examples of this.

Others express their feelings through art. The point is to use a method of expression that works for you. Be purposeful about setting a time and sticking to it. Stay focused on identifying the feelings and expressing the feelings. The healing process of grief comes through feeling and expressing the feelings in healthy ways.

Grief can feel very dark and hopeless at times. Like the song, it can seem like your sun has stopped shining. God wants us to grieve our loss, but “not as those who have no hope” I Thessalonians 4:13. Doing the work of grief offers a way through the darkness to a new beginning…a new normal.

Grace and Peace to you on your journey. Skip Hedgpeth, Chaplain

1. “When I decided to come to the support group, I had tried everything to make the pain of my son’s suicide go away. I would not discuss it because it was shameful for one to “kill” themselves. Where did I go wrong? Did I do or not do something wrong to cause this sinful thing not done in Christian families? One even suggested my son did not go to Heaven because suicides did not go to heaven. I had prayed before because he was bipolar for a total healing. Even thinking God was punishing me by taking my baby (51 years old) from me. We were very close. My other sons and my husband would not go to counseling with me because they considered it a weakness.

My husband passed away one year later. Knowing I could not do this alone and not feeling my church would understand, I had to do something besides cry. My first meeting was tough. I had to get past this. I knew my son was sick, not physically, but mentally and in a way I didn’t know how to help because I didn’t understand the nature of the disease. Not yet healed from the loss of my son, I lost my husband, a wonderful Christian Bible teacher and music minister of 41 years. He had Alzheimer’s for about 12 years. This pain was not as harsh because he had been slipping away so long. After going to the meetings faithfully and talking about the loss and listening to and bonding with another couple who had just lost a son, reading literature Betsy gave us, I slowly began to heal. I don’t blame myself or anyone else and I know God has control of everything. I believe my son is safely in the arms of Jesus. I have become a member of another wonderful Christian fellowship. Thank you everyone at Hospice for your ministry to me. ”

Barbara (Bobbye) Martin, Odessa

2. “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in,” penned Leonard Cohen. The night I lay next to my darling of 55 years with our seven children and a Hospice nurse encircling our bed, as he slipped into eternity, a huge crack opened in our world. He had made us a strong, tough, love-filled family. It was all we could do not to be swallowed up in the darkness of grief and sorrow.

He wasn’t perfect but he was a giant among mankind. His dignity, humility, faith, generosity, wisdom, and love blessed many as he filled cracks in their lives.

Our faith never wavered but the fear of life without him, and the darkness from the gaping crack was overwhelming.

Hospice was the light that filled the crack in our lives. The love, the patience, the kindness, the understanding, the listening hearts warmed our souls with more than can be described. It wasn’t just a few weeks or months but continued Hospice attention for years. Their door and their hearts are always open as they continue to fill our crack. One dear compassionate soul is Betsy Brininstool, who is more than a Hospice counselor. She is a marvelous listening angel, now a dear friend. Her love and patience have more than filled our crack. I give thanks unto God every day for the kindness and caring given by Hospice.

Hospice is an entity of angels who bless lives with caring love and light filling mighty cracks. ”

Janie Harrison, Big Spring

3. “When I first attended my first session with Betsy, I was skeptical. I was thinking in my head “what can she really tell me that will help me?” Oh was I wrong. Betsy knows what to say and how to say it without you getting lost in “Counselor terms”. I honestly would not know where my life would be if I didn’t start seeing Betsy as soon and as consistent as I did. I attended private sessions and I did a session of Life after Loss grief group and I did a scrapbooking class (which I loved!). Betsy does extremely well at her job and I couldn’t thank her enough. Highly, highly recommended. Thank you.”

Alyssia Cardwell, Midland

SPOTLIGHT: NEIDIA RANKIN

1) How long have you been a part of the Home Hospice/Nursing family? 16 Years

2) What role do have in enriching the lives of our patients/families? I have 2. I’m the voice on the other side of the phone when they call our office. I ensure them that their concerns would be taken care of once I get ahold of the discipline they are needing to speak to. I’m also a CNA- While I am with a patient I reassure the family that if they need anything, please call the office. I also get to hear what a blessing our wonderful home health aides are.

3) If you are having a bad day, what do you do to make it better? Sit back, take a deep breath, Pray and tell myself, Let go, Let God.

4) What is a food you’d NEVER eat again? Liver, YUCK

5) Describe your perfect vacation. My perfect vacation is going to Ruidoso into the mountains to a cabin.

6) What is the first thing you think of when you get up in the morning? I am blessed to take another breath.

7) What song best describes your life? I have several lol. Color Me Badd “Wildflower”, Kelly Clarkson “Piece by Piece”, Bill Currington “She’s got a way with me”

8) If your pet could talk, what 3 questions would you want the answers to? Are you happy with us? Do you like your name? What do you like doing?

9) Would you rather have a PAUSE button or REWIND? I would like a REWIND button. Go back in time and make things right with my biological dad. Spend more time with him. Let him get to know his grandsons. Care for him until he took his last breath.

10) What is your secret to a good life? Let Go Let God, always stay positive.

“I’m going wherever you’re going, you can’t get rid of me…”

My husband and I had anticipated this… with no idea as to when it might occur. My mother remained working full-time – in retail sales, on her feet more than 8 hours a day, at least 5 days a week, well into her late seventies. She was a retail rock-star! But the time had come for her to slow down. The physical toll was catching up. And her life journey left her with one retirement option: to move in with us.

Then came the reality check. How our worlds changed – immediately. We have all had to take a step back, take a deep breath and assess the future plan. How do we combine two households full of stuff? Do we need to move into a safer home? How can we give her a space to call her own? How is this going to affect any of us monetarily? Will my work situation have to change? How can we cover the new bills? How do we add her pets into our already overflowing dog-pack? What had been the occasional request to take Mom to the doctor has now become a regular activity – eyes, ears, mouth and nose… every doctor, every cold… every emotional response to the huge changes in her life – depression, anxiety, boredom, lack of self-worth, fear of being a burden and full-on panic.

So many questions… and no time left to mull it over. It was crunch time.

But there’s all kinds of good stuff! Mom loves to clean house! Our dogs adore her as if they were small children, and believe me they are fabulous con-artists. Mom loves our neighborhood, and new shopping experiences…and having us near her side. This phase of living is a new adventure – I remember to step back, to breathe, and to savor each adventure together. Love will find the way.

Are you facing the decision to have your parent move in with you? Every family situation is different. Consider whether home health or hospice are medical plans of care which can provide you with an entire team of help! Have those discussions at your dinner table… today!

If you are still employed, it may be helpful to take some time away from your job to put things in order. A very important development for caregivers was the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993. Your employer is required by federal law to provide up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to eligible employees, for certain family and medical reasons.

And, take some time to check out the Family Caregiver Alliance website – it is an incredible resource if you can’t even begin to think of where to start!

Now if we can just get her to remember to close the bathroom door!

Family Caregiver Alliance
National Center on Caregiving
Website: www.caregiver.org